


Comparative Anatomy

by Shippeh



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: College AU, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 12:13:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9896018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shippeh/pseuds/Shippeh
Summary: Percy drags Keyleth to a frat party on an errand to find numbers for a project, and ends up discovering something (or someone) a lot more interesting.(or, yet another college au that nobody asked for)





	

**Author's Note:**

> enjoy and let me know if you liked it because I've got More Planned c;

This was stupid. This was absolutely the stupidest thing he'd ever done, objectively; or at least, the only thing that had the potential to land him in hot water with the law. Getting caught at a party underage on day three of the 'college life' would be a great start. They were still two blocks away from the house, but heavy bass echoed down the street strong enough to feel in the soles of his boots.

"This is stupid," Percy said, voicing the thought streaming through his mind with bright red flashers. He paused hesitantly, kicking at a weed in the overgrown sidewalk.

Keyleth stopped with him, taking a moment to reach over and adjust the leather bag slung over his shoulder, tugging it back up with fingers painted as vibrantly as her fiery hair. He'd met her over the summer, forcibly grouped together during the school's weekend scholarship testing for upcoming freshman hopefuls, and somehow developed a kinship with her unlike anything he'd had before. Part of it was the shared desperation to avoid being alone in a new, large place, but part of it was the way she laughed so easy, how she spoke with bright conviction about her studies and dreams. The glue of universal fate (not that Percy believed in fate or variations there-of) stuck them together for that weekend and the rest of their lives, probably.

(Before Sunday ended, before they were tossed back into the real world for long months of in-between existence, she had pressed him against a door, his hands tangled in her wild hair. A few heated moments later they pulled apart, laughed, and mutually decided that it _was_ possible for a man and a woman to just be friends.)

The two of them were an odd pair, a set of stark opposites in everything from dress to declared majors, but once college move-in started they had easily reunited like they'd never been apart. So when his damned research partner insisted that he couldn't drop off the lab notes tonight, but that Percy was welcome to hit up the welcome week party and pick them up, he had asked her to come with and she had agreed with no fuss. It was only hours later that Percy realized he'd been invited to the biggest frat house party of the week.

"Oh, it's definitely stupid," Keyleth agreed, "but I'm kind of curious to see what its like in there."

"Loud and obnoxious: I can already tell from here." In the fading sunset light, they could see vague shapes running across the lawn, loud voices trying to shout over the music. It was a wonder the police hadn't already shown up, but then again- college towns seemed to exist on an entirely separate plane with bizarre rules that Percy wasn't sure he even wanted to understand.

"We don't have to go, but Percy- when is the next time we'll get invited to a party like this?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You, a cute freshman girl? Weekly, I'm sure." He knew she wasn't on the same page and that she lived in a state of self-doubt, but he personally thought Keyleth was gorgeous and knew anybody else would see the same, easily.

"Stop, stop," she laughed, knocking the back of her hand against his arm.

"It's true: in fact, we probably shouldn't go in at all. You'll be swarmed by sharks and lost to me forever."

Keyleth rolled her eyes, though her ever-present smile still crept along her lips. "Not sure I like being a bloody carcass in that metaphor, Perc."

"Like bees to a beautiful flower," he corrected.

"You're awful. Are we going in or not? Because if not, Tibs told me there's a really nice tea place across from the student union that I'd love to check out."

"Is it actual tea, or just the cold stuff with those gelatin globes?"

"Listen," Keyleth said, defending herself with one hand raised. " _Listen_ , Percy, I'm sure they have tea to your standards too."

"With proper safety warnings?"

"If I'd known you hadn't ever had it before I would have warned you!"

"I nearly died," he accused, vividly remembering the wet, panicked feel of gelatin stuck down his throat. Tired from moving himself in, exhausted after moving Keyleth in; he hadn't known what was in the drink she'd ordered for him and had been very surprised to find it full of choking hazards. 

She groaned, having had this conversation five times since the event had happened, barely three days ago. "At least you'll never forget how to drink bubble tea."

"Won't be a lesson I'll be using in the future," he swore. 

Teasing aside, he really did need to pick up that lab work. He had numbers to crunch before the next morning, or the professor he'd been assigned to work under was going to throw a fit. Causing an experimental delay before classes had even started probably wouldn't fly too well. He started walking again, crushing another straining weed underfoot as he moved towards certain doom. 

Keyleth hopped along after him, her heels magically avoiding cracks in the ancient concrete. "I didn't think somebody as capable as you would choke on tapioca."

"That's not tapioca," he said. "That's like tapioca's murderous cousin." Percy felt glass crunch under his feet as they approached and was suddenly very glad that Keyleth had worn close-toed shoes tonight. He grew more serious, grin slipping from his lips. "Okay, we're just going to go in, find what I need, and get out, alright?"

"No crazy party hi-jinks," she agreed, tucking her arm into his as they turned onto the walk. He pressed her arm close, trying not to focus on the shape in the bushes that looked too much like somebody already passed out in them. It wasn't even nine yet... but odds were good this party had started at the same time move-in week had. He had heard some schools were doing away with welcome weeks altogether, forcing students to move in right before classes started, and Percy was already sure that was a smart idea. 

They stepped up the porch uneasily, Greek letters across the house, across the door, across the shirts (or bare chests) of the people lounging around outside the open door. The pair made it three steps towards the door before a big man holding a beer in each hand confronted them. "Hey, yo, who're you? You kids got id?"

"Uh-"

Keyleth interrupted him, sliding her arm out from his and twisting towards the man. "Tary invited us," she cooed, "can we go inside?"

The man laughed, and Percy didn't like that laugh, but the bouncer took a long pull of his cheap beer and waved them in. 

"Oh my god," Keyleth hissed in a rush as they stepped through the doorway into an even louder room. Percy had to lean close to hear her, his hand on her waist lightly, drawing her close protectively. "I've never done that before. I batted my eyelashes. I've never batted my eyelashes. Did you see me do that?"

"You're gorgeous, Kiki, I've told you," he replied absently, his attention on their surroundings. There were entirely too many people packed into the ancient house, and Percy figured it'd be a race to see who shut the event down first: the cops or the fire department. 

Keyleth fisted the fabric of his sleeve hard, pulling his attention around to a specific point in the throng of activity. "Holy shit! What are they doing? Is that a keg stand? Like in a movie? Oh my god, I didn't realize that was an actual thing!" 

"It is, unfortunately," he said, eyeing the messy kitchen scene warily. One giant man easily holding himself upside down- he didn't even need anybody to hold his feet, so he was either barely drunk, extremely athletic, or, more likely, both. He was surrounded by a crew cheering him on and chugging their own drinks, and Keyleth couldn't stop staring. "If you want to go watch, you can," Percy told her. "I'll get my data and come grab you."

"Do you think they'll teach me how to do it?"

"I really hope they don't. Just stay near here and, Kiki, don't drink anything, alright?" It was really probably best not to leave her, and he was already picturing in his mind a thousand bad scenarios that could happen to a cute freshman girl in a stranger's frat house, but this errand would take forever if he had to carry her with her. "I'll be back in just a couple minutes, okay? Be safe." She drew her eyes away from the keg stand and smiled softly at him, and Percy remembered that while she was an innocent, enthusiastic girl, she wasn't _dumb_. She probably knew more about the scary college news stories than he did. She'd be okay for two minutes.

"I'll be okay for two minutes," she told him, and he laughed, nudging her over. 

"Two minutes," he confirmed. 

Now to find his ridiculous coworker in this mess of unattended youth.

-

The first person he asked, a boy with a red cup leaning against a wall, scowled at him for the interruption. "Who the fuck is Tary?" 

Percy rolled his eyes, devastatingly aware that this was going to be a harder task than it needed to be, swearing that he was never, ever doing this again. Next time it was just going to be a solid, 'sorry Professor but my coworker partied all night and never got me the data.' Surely, having already worked with the guy for two years now, it would be a very familiar complaint. Ugh. Such a good start to his employment in the lab. 

Percy didn't even bother replying and just moved on down the hallway, irritated further by a broken, flickering ceiling light. Apparently this frat wasn't quite proud enough of their heritage to maintain the home properly. He knew, really, that not all fraternities lived up to the violent stereotypes of the movies. Plenty of them were sincere organizations dedicated to community and organization; his own brother was still an involved alumni for his Greek letters of choice. But, god, if the chapters like this one didn't insist on trying to ruin it for the rest. Typical.

He slid past an older student only to have his pursuit halted by her hand on his elbow, her sculpted eyebrows raised as she eyed him from head to toe. "You a kappa?" she asked, sipping from a silver can while she waited for his answer. 

"No." Percy pulled his arm away from her nails. 

"Too bad," she sighed, "I only fuck kappa."

"A loss for both of us, I'm sure."

"For you, definitely."

Oh, Jesus, throw him a bone. "Do you know where Tary is?" She waved down the hall before continuing to push past him towards the front, her hips bumping his a bit more than he personally thought necessary. "Thanks."

The end of the hallway opened into a living room turned beer pong stadium: two tables set too close to each other, cups scattered everywhere, covered windows and a stereo leaking bass loud enough to make the cups vibrate. Percy ducked as he passed through the doorway, a ping pong ball flying over his head straight out the door, his entrance followed by a loud cheer. He glanced behind him to watch the ball bounce from one wall to another before being lost entirely underfoot.

"You goddamn fuck, you're drinking two for that!" 

"Bull _shit_ I am, I paid for those balls."

"You don't have to keep bragging about your ball-buying habit, Tary."

"Ha  _ha_ , funny, original- I'd better write that one down."

"I want credit for it."

"Oh don't worry, you'll get credit for  _something_ , at least." Taryon's gaze flicked towards the door, his expression lighting up as soon as he saw Percy. "Yo, Percival! Come play!"

There were about six million things on his to-do list above playing beer pong with drunk frat boys. "No, thanks," he said, and then moved closer to say it again, loud enough over the music. "I just need that data."

"What data?"

"What- the data from the programs you were running yesterday?"

"Oh, right, yeah it's-" Tary cut short as a white ball splashed into one of his cups, his shirtless opponent yelling, "Drink! Drink!" Percy waited, arms crossing over his chest, while he picked up the cup, pulled the ball out with his bare hand, and then chugged whatever sordid liquid filled it. Tary tossed the cup over his shoulder without looking, and then held his hand out, ball wet in his palm. "Make a hit and I'll tell you where it is."

"Are you joking?"

The kid across the table laughed. "He just wants you to do it because he knows he can't." 

Tary ignored his opponent. "Just get it in any one of them, come on."

It wasn't worth arguing. Percy took the ping-pong ball from Tary, trying not to think about the myriad of bacteria it'd just been swimming in, and moved to the end of the table. If Keyleth could see him now, she'd die. She'd never believe this. He took aim, considered the ridiculous reverberation from the music, the ancient warped stain in the table, and then bounced the ball across. It hit once and then landed squarely in one center cup, tiny droplets popping upwards in a triumphant spray. 

"That doesn't count!"

"Drink it, fucker!" Tary laughed, demanding his opponent take the point, while Percy pointedly wiped his hand against the fabric of his pants. "That's totally fair, drink!"

While the kid sullenly chugged, Percy stared down his grinning coworker. "Data, please."

"You sure you don't wanna stay and play? You've got talent, Percival!"

Potential award-winning skill aside, and as shocked as he was that his careless associate remembered his name, staying here wasn't on the agenda. "I've got things to get done tonight."

Tary rolled his eyes, clearly disappointed, running a hand through golden hair that was already mussed beyond 'purposefully messy'. "Alright, alright, it's up in my room. Upstairs, second door on the left, right on the desk on a red chain. You won't miss it."

"A red chain."

"Dude, yeah."

"Did you make me come out here to get data on a USB? Because-"

"Okay, Percival, listen." Taryon turned to him, his serious expression mostly ruined by a giant wet stain down his rumpled shirt. He leaned one elbow on the table (and Percy was surprised the whole thing didn't collapse under his weight). "I know you're a freshman and college seems scary, but chill. Take a night off. The semester hasn't even started yet. Anyway, I know for a fact the prof is down the road at a sorority party. I'll bet money tomorrow we both get an email postponing the whole thing." 

Percy didn't reply, and only listened silently, lips tight. Taryon chuckled, the sound muted by the loud music, and shook his head. "The data's up in my room but, dude, my professional opinion is that you forget about it for the night and relax for once. You look like you've never had a day off in your life. Did you really carry your bag to a frat party?" He stood up straight, lifting a cup from the table as he did and offering it to Percy like a peace-offering. "Let yourself chill. Daddy won't know."

There were a million words running through Percy's head, but at the same time he had nothing to say. A hot anger crept across his throat, tightened across his tongue, and locked his voice. Taryon wriggled the drink in front of him, egging him on. One hand gripping the strap of his bag tight, he finally took the cup in the other, fingers indenting the plastic. Wordlessly, he twisted the cup upside down, dumping the contents straight onto the floorboards, splashing Taryon's feet and probably his own, but he didn't give a fuck at that point. 

He dropped the empty cup like it was a hot mic, spun on his heel, and walked out. He heard Tary's spluttering and raucous laughter behind him but didn't stop. This was going to be an awful start to their working relationship, but he didn't care. This kind of asshole wasn't the kind of personal connection he felt compelled to keep. And if the professor turned out to be the same kind of careless asshole, well, then- there were other labs to work in. Fuck.

Jesus fuck.

Percy made his way back down the hall and to the front of the house again, where the stairs were, and paused to check briefly on Keyleth. She was surrounded by people, laughing loud enough he could hear her distinct voice from a room away, and seemed okay. Alright. He just had to go upstairs, get the data (which he now suspected was probably fudged or faulty somehow anyway), and leave. The heat and noise of this goddamn house was crawling into his skin and driving him crazy. He couldn't wait to crawl back into his empty dorm room and sit in silence. 

He climbed up the stairs, twisting to dodge a couple messily making out against the rail-way, skipping a step covered in some kind of liquid he wasn't about to check. What had Tary said? Second door on the left? 

The door was closed, and- oh, not entirely closed. It was cracked open, drifting like somebody had tried to shut it but hadn't quite used enough force. He paused with his palm hovering over the wood, hearing suddenly a voice from the inside. The upstairs was quieter, music from the lower level only an echo and a rumble through the soles of his feet, and he could make out most of what sounded like a phone conversation.

"Sure, I'm fine- No, she's out doing service hours, I'm with- yeah, with Grog, it's fine, he's downstairs somewhere and I'm-"

It didn't seem like a private call and Percy wasn't in the mood to stand out here waiting. He pushed open the door and walked right into the dim room. 

A woman sat on the bed, phone against her ear, and his goal was likely the desk across the room but his attention was drawn immediately to her. She startled as he walked in, blinking widely at him through painted eyes. She sat up, crossing one leg over the other in a dark, short skirt, but didn't discontinue her conversation. 

"Can you relax for one fucking second and let me finish a sentence? I'm fine, I miss you too, and no, I'm barely drinking anything. Not that it's your concern,  _dad-_ Well, maybe you should stop acting like him, then."

She raised a hand and looked at him, mouthing, ' _What?_ ' and he realized he'd been staring for a while. Almost embarrassed, but too hot to really feel anything but a general irritation, he turned his back on her and moved to the desk. Red chain- there, underneath a pile of papers, was a silver jump drive on a red chain. Percy's hand closed over it tight enough to break it. It  _was_ on a fucking USB. This could have been emailed. This fucking- this whole fucking thing was- Percy took a deep breath, concentrating on the voice behind him in an attempt to resist going downstairs to commit a murder. 

"What time are you moving in tomorrow? Alright, I'll see you then. Yeah. Alright. Love you more. Is there a reason you're going through Darrington's things?"

Percy didn't realize she was speaking to him until he felt a hand on his arm, and she was suddenly right there next to him, eyeing the device in his hand. He turned towards her, gaze caught by the streaks of blue poorly dyed into otherwise dark hair. 

"Hey, hello. Are you stealing his shit or what?"

"No, no, I'm-" He fumbled with the chain, holding it up so she could properly see what he was holding. "He made me come all the way out here for lab data and it's-"

"-it's in an easily emailed format." She laughed, heartily, one hand covering her mouth, and Percy couldn't help but start to laugh with her. This whole thing was entirely stupid, really. "God, he really is a fucking asshole." 

"Apparently." 

"I probably would have let you steal from him if you'd found something good," she admitted, uncovering her mouth and brushing the hand absently through the scattering of papers on the desk. 

"Not a fan of him?"

That earned another laugh. "Is anybody? His family funds half of this frat's chapter, so we mostly try to tolerate him."

Spoiled rich boy. Made sense. "Are you part of this frat?"

"Me? Fuck, no. Just here for the party, I guess." She stopped rustling through Taryon's private papers and leaned back, eyeing Percy up and down. It was the second time that night he'd been judged, but unlike downstairs, he felt like he wanted to pass this inspection. "You wanna get revenge on the prick?"

That caught him off guard, having been lost in the calm dark of her eyes, wondering what she was thinking. Revenge wasn't what he would have guessed but it certainly wasn't off the table. "Like- what are you suggesting?"

"I don't know," she hummed, fingers clicking on the wood. "You could fuck on his desk," she suggested. 

"I could-"

" _We_ could, I mean." The woman shrugged, and laughed lightly once again, while Percy's brain blue-screened and attempted to reboot itself. "It's my last night alone on campus and I was thinking about it anyway. Might as well fuck over Darrington while I'm at it, and you're cute enough."

This was a terrible idea, and Keyleth was waiting downstairs, and what if somebody walked in, what if  _Tary_ walked in, and  _this was a terrible idea_ . 

He didn't say no.

He certainly must have looked completely shell-shocked though. She winked, and gently nudged him aside before lifting herself up onto the desk. She didn't even bother to move any papers out of the way, the edges of a spiral notebook pressing into her bare thigh. He let her reach for him, let her tug on his bag's strap and slide it off onto the floor. She grabbed his jacket and pulled him closer, spreading her legs around him while her skirt rode further up. He felt the point of a heel against the back of his leg. 

"The door's-"

"It's only open a little," she murmured, dragging him down by the collar. "Just be fast. You can be fast, right? I don't even have to finish."

He swallowed. "What if I want you to?"

She paused, and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I like you," she said, before pressing her lips hard to his. 

His mental reboot reached an error and had to start over- fortunately, his body was happy to take control and he shifted closer, flush against the desk. She kissed him hard, taking no prisoners, and he played right back into it, pressing his tongue past her lips and meeting her own tongue hard, heavy breaths mixing. She slid a hand up, running her nails through the scruff on his face and then back through his hair, tangling through brown curls. She tugged once and he couldn't help the sharp gasp. Her other hand slipped lower, discovering his waistband and wasting no time in undoing the button of his pants. 

Encouraged, Percy brought his hands to her, pressing one against her back to bring her even closer to him, the other slipping up underneath her shirt. God, she wasn't even wearing a bra, nothing at all under her silken shirt. He palmed her breast, squeezing carefully, then harder when she hummed into his mouth. Her kisses shifted to his jaw, down his neck. She sucked his pulse and nipped him lightly, chuckling when he jumped. In return he found her nipple, twisted it lightly, pleased to hear her whisper encouragement against his skin.

"There are condoms in the top left drawer," she told him, slowly tugging his zipper down, "and don't ask me how I know that."

He wouldn't have dared. Percy leaned over and jerked the door open, blindly digging around inside as the girl claimed his lips again. Eventually he found what he was looking for, and as he pulled it out she took it from him, letting him keep his hand on her warm tit while she tore it open. Oh, god, this was it, the point of no return, and Keyleth was still waiting for him downstairs- she reached into his boxers and wrapped her hand around his hard length and all thoughts of his best friend scattered from his mind.

"Oh, I  _really_ like you," she spoke into his mouth, pleased, pulling his cock free and dusting the tips of her fingers across him. He lowered his hands to her skirt, gripping the edges and pulling upwards, groaning as she slowly slid the condom over him. He could feel the curl of her lips and knew she was smiling, enjoying dragging this quick fuck out in increments. "There we go," she said finally, and she shifted right to the edge of the desk until there was no longer any space between them. 

There wasn't anything underneath her skirt, just the wetness of her cunt, teasing the tip of his cock. She moved again, pressing even closer, and for a moment he debated teasing her in turn- but whatever was happening to him was already a miracle that could be interrupted any second now and he wasn't up to take chances. He twisted a hand in her long hair, the other finding her pointed tit again, and pressed his hips forward. 

She groaned into his mouth as he entered her, slowly, her back arching. They weren't even kissing anymore, just breathing heavily against each other in anticipation, lips paused as he pulled back out, and then slowly, again, in all the way until he felt her heels dragging along the back of his legs again, her knees holding him against her. 

"Oh, god, fuck me," she requested, licking her lips. He was happy to oblige, picking up the pace, any thoughts of being interrupted erased from his mind by the pleasure of her warm, wet cunt, tight around him. He could feel her thighs tremble as she used them to hold him close, keeping to the edge of the desk, unwilling to lose any amount of space between them. Inspired by her soft, quick noises, he pulled her shirt up and lowered his lips to her breast, taking her into his mouth. She leaned back, one hand gripping the edge of the desk for dear life, the other clutching the fabric of his shirt while he laved her with his tongue, sucking gently and then harder at her encouragement, teeth grazing the edge of her nipple. 

He knew this was meant to be quick and he  _definitely_ knew he wasn't going to last much longer, but god he could have been happy like this for hours. "Keep-" she gasped, "Harder-" and he obliged, pounding into her, wishing he had the support of the wall, the bed- already picturing a thousand more ways to fuck her. 

"I'm-" 

"Do it," she told him, releasing his shirt and gripping his hair instead, yanking his head up and kissing him soundly again, her tongue hard in his mouth. She didn't have to ask twice- he thrust quicker, once, twice, letting the pressure have him and moaning once through his release, her lips still teasing his while he spilled into the condom. 

What felt like a decade later, spent, he released his grip on her breast. "Sorry, you didn't-"

"You're fine," she assured him, forehead pressed against his. "You just owe me one, now."

"I feel like I owe you a lot more than one," he breathed, chest heaving. 

She laughed, kissing him one last time and then leaning back. Carefully he pulled away from her, sliding the condom off before tying it. "Leave it in his trashcan under the desk," she suggested, hopping off and pulling her skirt back down. 

"That's terrible," Percy said, even as he leaned down and tossed it in. 

"Well, he's an asshole. Also, I'm almost positive he doesn't change his own trash anyway."

He laughed, zipping himself up. She picked up his bag for him while he tried to straighten his jacket out and slipped it over his shoulder. "Well, kid," she said, "nice meeting you."

"Percy," he offered. 

"Percy. Alright. Good first meeting, Percy. See you around, maybe."

She left him then, slipping out the open door. He tried to follow, entranced, but remembered suddenly the reason for his visit, the flash drive. It'd been tossed somewhere in the mess on the floor, papers scattered, and it took him a minute to find it. By the time he had it again, tucked away within his bag, she was gone, leaving him a mess with damp boxers, mussed hair, and as Keyleth would gladly tell him on the way home, bright lipstick all over his face.

It was only as he was unlocking his dorm that he realized he'd never even gotten her name. 

 


End file.
